Sometimes Anxiety Is Trying to Protect You
- Mike Ogden
- Jul 13
- 4 min read
Most of us know what it feels like to worry.
Sometimes it’s the night before an interview. Sometimes it’s waiting for a phone call, sitting outside a hospital appointment, or wondering whether someone we love is okay.
That’s part of being human.
Anxiety can feel different.
It doesn’t always wait until there’s something obvious to worry about. Sometimes it arrives when everything appears to be fine. Your mind starts racing. Your body feels tense. You begin imagining every possible outcome, even though part of you knows those thoughts probably won’t happen.
People often tell me they wish they could simply stop feeling anxious.
I understand why.
But over the years, both personally and professionally, I’ve come to think about anxiety a little differently.
I don’t believe anxiety is trying to hurt us.
Most of the time, I think it’s trying to protect us.
The difficulty is that sometimes it becomes a little too good at its job.
Understanding Anxiety
One of the things I often explain is that anxiety isn’t a sign that something is wrong with you.
It’s a sign that your mind and body believe they need to keep you safe.
Our brains are remarkably good at spotting danger. Thousands of years of evolution have helped us react quickly when something feels threatening. The difficulty is that our brains don’t always distinguish between real danger and imagined danger.
Sometimes they prepare us for things that haven’t happened.
Sometimes they prepare us for things that may never happen.
That can leave us feeling exhausted.
Not because we’re weak, but because our minds have been working overtime trying to protect us.
When people understand this, I often notice a sense of relief. They stop seeing anxiety as something that’s broken inside them and begin recognising it as a very human response that has simply become a little overprotective.
Finding Ways to Steady Yourself
When anxiety starts building, I’ve found it helps to have one or two familiar ways of bringing yourself back into the present.
Different things work for different people, and that’s okay.
For some people it’s slowing their breathing.
For others it’s going for a walk, making a cup of tea, listening to music, or talking to someone they trust.
The aim isn’t to make anxiety disappear completely.
It’s simply to remind your mind and body that, in this moment, you’re safe.
One technique people often ask me about is the 3-3-3 Rule.
It’s not a magic solution, but it can be a helpful way of interrupting anxious thoughts and reconnecting with what’s happening around you.
Try looking for:
Three things you can see.
Three things you can hear.
Three parts of your body you can gently move.
Simple techniques like this help shift our attention away from the “what ifs” and back towards the present moment.
What is the 3-3-3 Rule of Anxiety?
One technique I often turn to when feeling overwhelmed is the 3-3-3 rule. It’s a simple grounding exercise that helps interrupt anxious thoughts and bring you back to the here and now.
Here’s how it works:
Look around and name 3 things you can see. This could be a lamp, a book, or a tree outside the window.
Listen carefully and name 3 things you can hear. Maybe the hum of a fan, birds chirping, or distant traffic.
Move 3 parts of your body. Wiggle your toes, stretch your fingers, or shrug your shoulders.
This method is effective because it engages your senses and body, which helps shift your focus away from anxious thoughts. It’s easy to remember and can be done anywhere, anytime.
Anxiety Doesn’t Need to Win Every Conversation
One of the hardest parts of anxiety is that it can make every thought feel urgent.
“What if something goes wrong?”
“What if I’ve made the wrong decision?”
“What if people are judging me?”
When we’re anxious, those thoughts can feel incredibly convincing.
But thoughts are not always facts.
We don’t have to fight every anxious thought.
Sometimes we simply need to notice it, understand where it’s come from, and decide how much attention it deserves.
That takes practice.
It also takes kindness.
Because the goal isn’t to stop your mind from trying to protect you.
The goal is to help it realise that not every situation is dangerous.
When Extra Support Can Help
There are times when anxiety becomes more than occasional worry.
It starts affecting sleep.
Relationships.
Work.
Family life.
You might begin avoiding situations you once enjoyed or find yourself constantly feeling on edge without really knowing why.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
Counselling offers a calm, supportive space to slow things down and make sense of what’s happening.
Together, we can explore where your anxiety may have come from, what keeps it going, and what might help you feel steadier moving forward.
A Different Way of Looking at Anxiety
Perhaps anxiety isn’t the enemy we’ve always believed it to be.
Perhaps it’s a part of us that’s trying—sometimes a little too enthusiastically—to keep us safe.
Understanding that doesn’t make anxiety disappear overnight.
But it can change the relationship we have with it.
Instead of asking,
“How do I stop feeling anxious?”
Perhaps we can begin by asking,
“What’s my anxiety trying to protect me from?”
Sometimes the answers are kinder than we expect.
Your story is your story.
Sometimes we just need a little space to begin figuring things out.
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